Protect Yourself from the Glums

Stress and disappointment will grab you—if given half a chance. Guard your feelings, your up-beat moods. A dollop of joy and binkles go a long way toward keeping
the blahs or sadness at bay. But why stop there?

Recognize that when it comes to emotions, there’s more going on than we choose to notice. Or define with words. Or know how to decipher. A case in point applies to blubbering and yammering (which we never do without feeling
we’re “wrong). Maybe not…

In Praise of Blubbering and Yammering
(A BonBon)

Everyone experiences life in three ways—logically, emotionally and physically.
Early on, we learned to let the logical side do the talking. It’s good at it and
people are more likely to pay attention.

Since our logical side controls the mouth it assumes it calls the shots. But
it edits out information that doesn’t make sense to it—information that isn’t
rational. What it deletes is primarily related to the body and emotions.

When our emotional side tries to speak up and be “logical” it blubbers.
When our physical side tries to speak up and be “logicalּ it yammers. Neither of
which comes across as articulate—but that doesn’t mean the body and emotions don’t
have anything worth saying.

Neither blubbering (hurt feelings) nor yammering (body hurts) come across as
persuasive or coherent. To the extent their message gets through at all, it’s
likely to be embarrassing for both the speaker and the listener. The point is
almost always lost because it’s made so ineptly.

Our logical side wants to leap in and tidy up the information since it, too,
doesn’t “get it.” That’s why the blubbering or yammering started
in the first place.

So here’s the dilemma—whether to persist with belaboring the issue
that’s putting you in a poor light or to drop it—let it go, resolved to “forget
the whole thing.”
J. D. Dawg, J.D. (for juris doctor) here, the Legal Beagle.

Hello and welcome to the Legal Department. I’m the oaffish-al
designated and denigrated in-house attorney for The Joyful Banker.

My expertise is kept up to the minute through my membership in the
American Bar Association (ABA), along with the American Beagle Assn. (ABA).
You won’t find me in any dog fight. I’d rather resolve disputes with legal
banter, jargon, and flim-flam at 20 paces.

It’s my job to make sure that whatever Joyful Banker does is
in compliance—with a high level of frivel, giggle, and absurdity. I pledge
to live up to my responsibility.

The Legal System is Binkle Deficient

What could be more absurd than the law itself? So I don’t hesitate to poke fun
at the complexity and enigmatic logic that it delivers—instead of the clear answers
people are looking for.

You’ll be hearing more from me since I contribute a column in the
Interest Report. I suggest you subscribe
(if you haven’t already).

Other members of The Banker’s staff will be writing regular columns, too.
Together, we move journalism to the Silly Standard—just as this website has
moved finance to the Silly Standard.

Observe my contorted legal mind at work

For your delight and amusement, I’ve drafted a set of high-frivel, never-before-seen
legal documents such as, Bill of Sail-ing and First Will and Test-a-Minute.

The set of documents (8 in all) is guaranteed to be 100% absurd and non-binding,
with absolutely no legal effect. They lay bare the true incomprehensibility of the
legal turn of phrase—without you having to take them seriously. Enjoy them all—because
you certainly don’t need to abide by them.

Absurd legal documents
Read a Silly Sample

Thanks for coming by my cramped office. And watch for my columns in the Interest Report.