The Tour Continues (2)

Visit the Vault

We’re starting from the Vault. Everything down here is free. Watch your step—it’s a little dark and crowded down here. Not many people come down this far, and the light’s not too bright. You’ll have to squeeze up tighter, folks. Thank ’ya kindly.

Notice that the Vault is arranged with deep repository drawers. But you don’t need a key. Just insert yourself. (haha, couldn’t resist) Go ahead, nothing in there you can’t have. If you like it, that is. Rummage around in there as much as you want to—bound to find something you’d want to take home.

You get to choose from those eight drawers. And there’s nothing to stop you from choosing more than once. The contents in some of them get changed often, or might even rotate. You only get one choice at a time. But it wouldn’t surprise me if you peek into all of them before you’re done. Most people do.

See there? You can choose:

A few kind words
Famous Binkle songs
Wild Cards - Like a “Sleep ’til noon” card
Funny Munny
The Family Jewels
And who know what else?

A Word of Warning and Disclosure

Before I say another word, I’m obligated to remind you of a few things.
The Joyful Banker is a parody. The bucks and financial documents are NOT real. They’re spoofs of financial or legal instruments. Please don’t take them seriously. Enjoy them for their whimsy value and the urge to feel expansive (as in generous). Around here, money is a laughing matter. So let’s have some fun with it.

The Banker’s Policies and Goals

I’d better explain how The Banker’s policies work. We have two kinds. The parody policies are for fun. The others are real ones (like privacy or no spam). Just so you don’t get them confused, information is shown on different-colored backgrounds:
Lilac means parody (fun)—what we’re on now
Blue means real (serious)
And you’ll see those colors used consistently all over the website.

Some Unconventional Policies

Withdrawals only—no limits; no deposits required
Your checks never bounce
No paybacks or interest charges—since we don’t keep accounts
See all the silly policies

Compare them with the serious, reliable, real, genuine policies

Whimsical Financial Terms

You’ve learned about frivel (wordplay). The Banker has a whole collection of it in the financial definitions. Here are some examples:
   Cash Flow    How money escapes. The rate it leaks away
   FDIC    For Delivering Incredible Caring. Not an official government
      agency (or policy)
   Liabilities    Ability to tell lies. Nothing to brag about

But you’ll want to spend some time reading the rest of them, I’ll bet.
      Absurd financial terms

Moving on…

Looks like we’re half done with our tour, folks… And it seems like we just got started. But let’s move on to the next quirky places around here…

_____________________ Copyright © 2005 Off the Page Press
The Joyful Banker - A Parody of all things Financial
Off the Page Press   (719) 395-9450  fax (719) 395-9453
P.O. Box 4880,  Buena Vista, Colorado  81211 USA
http://www.joyfulbanker.com   editor@joyfulbanker.com